If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? by Erma Bombeck (1978)

If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
by Erma Bombeck
Publisher:  McGraw-Hill Book Company
Copyright:  1978

In this uproarious encore to The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank, Erma Bombeck confronts society's greatest challenge:  Surviving the Seventies -- the fears, the worries, the anxieties.  She shares with her millions of readers some of her deepest concerns:  discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along; getting into the Guiness Book of Records under "Pregnancy:  Oldest Recorded Birth," leaving the world suddenly and knowing that no one else in the family can replace a toilet spindle.

Erma meditates on such philosophical dilemmas as who killed apple pie, and contemplates the futility of surviving a white sale only to find that all that's left are double top sheets and contour bottoms.  She offers warm and wise advice on what to do when the supermarket discontinues your silverware pattern, and provides sane alternatives for the working wife trying to quick-thaw a pork chop under each armpit.  The book abounds with down-to-earth practical suggestions for coping -- the art of financing sirloin tip at 6 percent on the unpaid balance for thirty-six months, the secret of making towel racks out of oversexed coat hangers, what to do when your ozone is in trouble, how to handle traumas, natural disasters, deep depression, and readily adjust when they run out of extra-crispy chicken at the carry-out.

Erma provides incontrovertible evidence that the Institution of the Family must and will survive, that we are not meant to be alone -- after all.  Twinkies come twelve to a box, kitchen chairs four to a set, and gum five to a package.  In rare and revealing moments she tells of some of her deepest experiences -- how she made it through the tennis craze and almost won the Varicose Open, and she shares with us the despair of not being able to find a babysitter, the awful realization that no one wants to be paid for what you've been doing for years for nothing.  In a breakthrough section of political and social commentary she proposes radical reforms:  Hernia Amendment to the National Anthem; Kissing by Mutual Ratification, and the Regulation of Interstate Shopping Cart Traffic.

Condition:  Used.  Hardcover.  Dust cover is lightly discolored and shows scuffing, rubbed edges and small edge tears.  Previous owner's "Library Of" stamp is on the front endpaper.  Pages may be tanning from age.  Looks like there are paint splatters on the page edges when book is closed.

**************************

Don't Delay. Buy It Now!

Why Buy From Me?

* Shipping Speed Most people are extremely amazed at how fast I get their item delivered to them. I ship the same day you pay for your item, whenever possible.

• Strong Positive Feedback 100% positive feedback. Customers are overwhelmingly pleased with the quality of the item they receive, the accuracy of the item's description, the prompt and informative email notifications, and of course the speedy delivery.
  
  * Blujay Member Since 2005 I'm here to stay.
  
  * ID Verified My feedback profile also displays the ID Verified icon. An extra level of safety and security for buyers to know.
  
  * PayPal Buyer Protection All of my listings display the PayPal Buyer Protection icon to qualify for up to $1000.00 of protection for you, the buyer.